It seems like every time I sit down to share my thoughts in a blog, the thoughts I had yesterday, the day before or even two hours before are predictably missing. So, I'll start out and hope something will come to mind as I clear my thoughts of all but what is essential, at least from a blogging view.
Yesterday in my country we celebrated Memorial Day, and as it is also with other countries, we honor the members of the Armed Forces who have served in our country's military as well as say Thank You" to those families who have sacrificed loved ones to fight for and preserve the liberties we have come to take so much for granted. On a personal note, my celebration was wonderful. The food was fantastic, the company was perfect, except for the absence of my daughter and her husband, and the mood was one of blending and love. Three generations were represented and family-of-the-heart were welcomed again. During the course of the day, one of my favorite songs by the Statler Brothers, "Silver Medals and Sweet Memories" was playing softly in my mind as I thought of the members of my own family who had either made the supreme sacrifice or served unselfishly for me, my family and my country.
As the sun set on a beautiful day, I looked out my bedroom window and saw that the new flowers Jan planted in the ground below my window were thriving and that reminded me that this year I wanted to get my Topsy Turvey tomato plant set up so that I can enjoy this seasonal favorite this summer. Living in an apartment, I miss the garden and yard work I did when I lived in a house in the country; but this small measure will help ease the longing for one of my favorite salad compliments.
I'm not much of at TV watcher at this time of my life. Normally, I would have the Fox News Channel on all day, catching a bit here and there as I go about my day or sit in my recliner with my laptop in front of me. So much sadness in the news these days, primarily (to me) the destruction and death caused by the unpredictable catastrophes Mother Earth/Nature has caused, not only my country but many others around the world.
Yes, this Lovely Lady is ticked-off! We have taken Her for granted, and too little too late "green" efforts have too often been selfishly initiated. Our government has promoted efforts aimed at what we can get from the Earth (solar, wind power) and all but ignored what we need to give back. That which has been instigated to protect endangered species has been manipulated by political causes, often with greed as the root cause and effect.
And we scratch our heads and wonder why: we have a national debt in the trillions: high national unemployment and local unemployment at record highs; available jobs are hard to find; the housing market is going crazy and demand for rental properties is soaring; more and more citizens do not trust the decisions made by our nation's leaders. Greed, power, and lack of accountability!.
Sometimes I wonder if our nation's opportunities for holidays have become hollow excuses to take a day off of work to meet with family or friends, or just kick back and enjoy the day as we wish.While there is nothing wrong with this, we often get lost in the celebration and forget the reason. Our country has become polarized and finding center is becoming more and more difficult to do, politically, socially and morally. Yet, there are great signs of renewal and personal recovery that cannot, and should not, be ignored. Regardless of what we have stood for in the past, our options are becoming fewer and fewer because while we have slept our rights have slowly been taken away from us. We need more patriots, more patriotism, more honesty and more pride.
I think back to what I've read about this country nearly 100 years ago when our soldiers fought in WWI, and then WWII. Would those whose pride took them to far away countries to stop the forces that might threaten our freedom recognize the country they protected when they signed on the dotted line and volunteered for military service? Are the changes we take for granted, good and bad, what they envisioned for our country? If not, why not?
I also think back to what I've read about the early beginnings of the Constitutional Congress that formulated the living document which guided the early formative years of our country's growth. I thought it was meant to be the blueprint for the future of our country, and wonder now what happened to to precepts set down by our Founding Fathers? Where did we go astray? What was the name of the Pied Piper who charmed our intelligent national leaders to create laws and pass legislature that has found us in this almost dead end road of economic disaster?
In the weeks and months ahead I'll be sharing my own personal opinions. I'm sure I'll meet with some criticisms, possibly denials and hopefully some well thought out agreement, but as the song that's been in my head today goes: ""That's Life"!". In fact I'd like to get some responses, any responses. That would mean that someone is reading my blogs.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Have A Little Faith In Life!
Every now and then life just seems to creep up on me, things start going from bad to just a little bit worse and each day seems like it should be labeled: "No Relief In Sight". So, it's just one day at a time and one foot in front of the other as the days go by.
Then, something will change, a spark of an idea followed by another logical conclusion, a phone call here and an agreement there and within 24 hours something that seemed impossible to overcome has found resolution.
Well, maybe I should explain that I believe miracles happen every day:...but not the hocus-pocus type. I mean the kind of human miracles that are the result of a beautiful kind of synchronicity, the kind most people chalk up to luck. I just had to know how to see them and how to appreciate them. Because a miracle by any other name that brings joy and peace to someone is certainly cause in my book for wonder at the greatness that this world and the people in it can hold.
As some of my closer friends know, my mini-van has been on the injured list for several months now, waiting for a solution to transmission failure. At this time in my life, my choices were replace or rebuild: the first proved to be difficult because my van is a 1996 and low mileage replacements were very scarce; the second was even less of an option because the vehicle was not worth investing the money to have the transmission rebuilt.
Time was getting short and my nerves were going from slightly to raggedly frayed as I relied on my son, my mom and my best friend to take me to the necessary places I visited each month for groceries and other home necessities. I had to make a decision, and I realized it was time to face the truth: I had to borrow the money from my mom to replace the vehicle, but I needed (if at all possible) a reliable source for this challenge.
Last night I called my niece's husband who works at a local Honda dealership and asked for his feed back on my situation. After he assured me that my thinking was rational and (all things considered) practical, I asked if he might know of a vehicle in my price range that was worth investing in.
Now, my niece, Leslie, is truly a sweetheart and Brett is the perfect compliment to her personality. He assured me that he'd not suggest any vehicle that was not safe, something I just took for granted. He was so comforting and thorough that I knew I had made a good choice to call him. And, he had a vehicle that he thought might fit my needs.
Long story short: My son, Ray, and I met Brett at the dealership at 9am this morning, we looked at the car and liked it; for our test drive, we took it to my mechanic for a once-over (and pick up the license plate from my mini-van). My son noticed a wobble in the front end, which turned out to be a tire that was beginning to show some wear on the belts. He mentioned this to Brett and a couple hours later I drove the car home with a "nearly new" set of tires and a great feeling of peace in my soul.
My point to all this is that sometimes we become so burdened with the challenges of life that we just want answers, solutions and resolutions...and we want them right now, especially if we've had to struggle with a certain life issue for a period of time. I read in a book somewhere that when you don't know what to do, don't do anything at all, just trust that the answers you seek will come when the time is right. It wasn't easy, but I waited, and prayed and trusted some more. The answer came!
Best of all, I know this is right. It feels right and has played out just right. My mother's generosity in lending me the money is basically the pivot point that made it happen, and the candle of gratitude I lit was for her, Brett and his staff. Simply put, never give up, and don't give in until you feel absolutely right about your decision.
Don't let "I shudda" keep you from experiencing all life has to offer. Go for the gusto and meet life head on. I'll never know what is beyond the next curve until I get there, but if I stop before I get there, I've possibly thrown away any chance of finding out.
Then, something will change, a spark of an idea followed by another logical conclusion, a phone call here and an agreement there and within 24 hours something that seemed impossible to overcome has found resolution.
Well, maybe I should explain that I believe miracles happen every day:...but not the hocus-pocus type. I mean the kind of human miracles that are the result of a beautiful kind of synchronicity, the kind most people chalk up to luck. I just had to know how to see them and how to appreciate them. Because a miracle by any other name that brings joy and peace to someone is certainly cause in my book for wonder at the greatness that this world and the people in it can hold.
As some of my closer friends know, my mini-van has been on the injured list for several months now, waiting for a solution to transmission failure. At this time in my life, my choices were replace or rebuild: the first proved to be difficult because my van is a 1996 and low mileage replacements were very scarce; the second was even less of an option because the vehicle was not worth investing the money to have the transmission rebuilt.
Time was getting short and my nerves were going from slightly to raggedly frayed as I relied on my son, my mom and my best friend to take me to the necessary places I visited each month for groceries and other home necessities. I had to make a decision, and I realized it was time to face the truth: I had to borrow the money from my mom to replace the vehicle, but I needed (if at all possible) a reliable source for this challenge.
Last night I called my niece's husband who works at a local Honda dealership and asked for his feed back on my situation. After he assured me that my thinking was rational and (all things considered) practical, I asked if he might know of a vehicle in my price range that was worth investing in.
Now, my niece, Leslie, is truly a sweetheart and Brett is the perfect compliment to her personality. He assured me that he'd not suggest any vehicle that was not safe, something I just took for granted. He was so comforting and thorough that I knew I had made a good choice to call him. And, he had a vehicle that he thought might fit my needs.
Long story short: My son, Ray, and I met Brett at the dealership at 9am this morning, we looked at the car and liked it; for our test drive, we took it to my mechanic for a once-over (and pick up the license plate from my mini-van). My son noticed a wobble in the front end, which turned out to be a tire that was beginning to show some wear on the belts. He mentioned this to Brett and a couple hours later I drove the car home with a "nearly new" set of tires and a great feeling of peace in my soul.
My point to all this is that sometimes we become so burdened with the challenges of life that we just want answers, solutions and resolutions...and we want them right now, especially if we've had to struggle with a certain life issue for a period of time. I read in a book somewhere that when you don't know what to do, don't do anything at all, just trust that the answers you seek will come when the time is right. It wasn't easy, but I waited, and prayed and trusted some more. The answer came!
Best of all, I know this is right. It feels right and has played out just right. My mother's generosity in lending me the money is basically the pivot point that made it happen, and the candle of gratitude I lit was for her, Brett and his staff. Simply put, never give up, and don't give in until you feel absolutely right about your decision.
Don't let "I shudda" keep you from experiencing all life has to offer. Go for the gusto and meet life head on. I'll never know what is beyond the next curve until I get there, but if I stop before I get there, I've possibly thrown away any chance of finding out.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Rambling Fun: Off the cuff or off the wall?
I just came back from a quick run to the pharmacy and noticed that the lilacs are almost in full bloom. I love the colors and fragrance of these springtime beauties. Deep purple to white and just about every shade in between. I love them all. One spring day a few years ago I picked a nice bouquet of them from the neighbor's bushes (with their consent). I put them a vase and placed them in my bedroom. By the time I went back later in the evening to read, my room was filled with the heady bouquet which relaxed me to sleep that night. Spring is here!
I've been waiting for the opportunity to get a really good case of Spring Fever. I have no alarm clocks to answer to in the morning, no routine or demands except for what I set for myself, and all kinds of time to slip outside and either read in the sunshine or take a short hike to the back side of the wooded lot behind my building and read, there surrounded by my favorite tree,.or should I say trees...six smaller trunks literally exploding from one root source, growing in a semi-circle which makes the perfect seat to let nature embrace me and drown out the din of cars, trucks, dogs, neighborhood kids and life. It's a temporary escape, but so worth the effort.
For six years or more I have enjoyed a relatively enjoyable online experience, starting out with Yahoo 360. I opened a Facebook account about a year later but until my cousins in the southwest came online, it was just something I came around to every now and then. Yahoo eliminated its social forum but by then I was more and more involved with FB so the transition was effortless. Little did I know then that I had been a part of an online experience that would gradually evolve into a super personal social network that not only allowed me to keep in touch with family and friends from Yahoo 360 but offered me an online forum which brought even more opportunities to meet people from my own country and on around the world.
The thrilling part for me is making contact with people who had once been in my life but moved away. Recently a dear online friend who went in another direction when Y360 folded found my comment on the page of a mutual friend and sent me a message. What a beautiful FB reunion, one of many. I also look forward to finding new friends, and this has been my pleasure through the applications/games that have challenged me these past few years. Yes, unless I have plans outside my apartment, my computer is on most of the day while I carry on with my housekeeping, laundry, and meals, but I'm not on seated at my PC the whole time!
While this may seem like a lot of online time, I don't feel that it's something that's out of control in my life. My early mornings and early evenings are often spent journaling my dreams, and later evenings are spent reading. Rarely do I spend more than a half hour at any one activity, as I am easily distracted and once I get up to get more coffee/tea or other necessary activities, I can usually find something else to do before finally remembering what it was that I got up to do in the first place.
However, (yep, here it comes), I have given myself permission to go where the wind blows me, whether it's indoors or out. I've never made a secret of my age and I've finally reached the age where that honest admission often comes with a "Senior Citizens Discount" at restaurants or check-out counters. I allow myself those "Senior Moments" even when they come two or three in the same hour and I reserve the right to change my mind on a moment's notice. I can dote on my grandsons or spend three days in my apartment without going out because I enjoy my own company and also look forward to opportunities to spend time with the people I love.
I never had a career, something I've often regretted; but, I've had quite a few jobs both working for others and as my own boss and I've learned a lot about life, love and lies. I take people for who they are to me, not because of the likes or dislikes of other people. I learned the lessons of life the hard way holding on to hurtful friends while overlooking the honest souls because someone else had a problem with them. Fortunately I was given second chances to correct my errors in judgement, and I learned that because we're all human, we're all here to learn our life lessons and the only way to do that is to take a chance, live life and not be afraid of making mistakes
Where am I going with this? Nowhere! Absolutely nowhere! Isn't that great. Unlike professional writers who have to have a beginning, ending and in-between, bloggers can share their thoughts, express opinions, give their viewpoints or ramble to their heart's content. Blogging is therapeutic and challenging. For me, when I first came to blogging, I was surprised to find that there were people in the world who agreed with me, even more surprised that they enjoyed reading what I wrote. I learned to take constructive criticism and came to enjoy the times when a great debate among friends developed.
Lastly, Knowing where you live, being able to find where you live doesn't assure you of a place to live. That is something you must earn by hard work and sacrifice. See, I told you I wasn't going anywhere...I'm still here!
I've been waiting for the opportunity to get a really good case of Spring Fever. I have no alarm clocks to answer to in the morning, no routine or demands except for what I set for myself, and all kinds of time to slip outside and either read in the sunshine or take a short hike to the back side of the wooded lot behind my building and read, there surrounded by my favorite tree,.or should I say trees...six smaller trunks literally exploding from one root source, growing in a semi-circle which makes the perfect seat to let nature embrace me and drown out the din of cars, trucks, dogs, neighborhood kids and life. It's a temporary escape, but so worth the effort.
For six years or more I have enjoyed a relatively enjoyable online experience, starting out with Yahoo 360. I opened a Facebook account about a year later but until my cousins in the southwest came online, it was just something I came around to every now and then. Yahoo eliminated its social forum but by then I was more and more involved with FB so the transition was effortless. Little did I know then that I had been a part of an online experience that would gradually evolve into a super personal social network that not only allowed me to keep in touch with family and friends from Yahoo 360 but offered me an online forum which brought even more opportunities to meet people from my own country and on around the world.
The thrilling part for me is making contact with people who had once been in my life but moved away. Recently a dear online friend who went in another direction when Y360 folded found my comment on the page of a mutual friend and sent me a message. What a beautiful FB reunion, one of many. I also look forward to finding new friends, and this has been my pleasure through the applications/games that have challenged me these past few years. Yes, unless I have plans outside my apartment, my computer is on most of the day while I carry on with my housekeeping, laundry, and meals, but I'm not on seated at my PC the whole time!
While this may seem like a lot of online time, I don't feel that it's something that's out of control in my life. My early mornings and early evenings are often spent journaling my dreams, and later evenings are spent reading. Rarely do I spend more than a half hour at any one activity, as I am easily distracted and once I get up to get more coffee/tea or other necessary activities, I can usually find something else to do before finally remembering what it was that I got up to do in the first place.
However, (yep, here it comes), I have given myself permission to go where the wind blows me, whether it's indoors or out. I've never made a secret of my age and I've finally reached the age where that honest admission often comes with a "Senior Citizens Discount" at restaurants or check-out counters. I allow myself those "Senior Moments" even when they come two or three in the same hour and I reserve the right to change my mind on a moment's notice. I can dote on my grandsons or spend three days in my apartment without going out because I enjoy my own company and also look forward to opportunities to spend time with the people I love.
I never had a career, something I've often regretted; but, I've had quite a few jobs both working for others and as my own boss and I've learned a lot about life, love and lies. I take people for who they are to me, not because of the likes or dislikes of other people. I learned the lessons of life the hard way holding on to hurtful friends while overlooking the honest souls because someone else had a problem with them. Fortunately I was given second chances to correct my errors in judgement, and I learned that because we're all human, we're all here to learn our life lessons and the only way to do that is to take a chance, live life and not be afraid of making mistakes
Where am I going with this? Nowhere! Absolutely nowhere! Isn't that great. Unlike professional writers who have to have a beginning, ending and in-between, bloggers can share their thoughts, express opinions, give their viewpoints or ramble to their heart's content. Blogging is therapeutic and challenging. For me, when I first came to blogging, I was surprised to find that there were people in the world who agreed with me, even more surprised that they enjoyed reading what I wrote. I learned to take constructive criticism and came to enjoy the times when a great debate among friends developed.
Lastly, Knowing where you live, being able to find where you live doesn't assure you of a place to live. That is something you must earn by hard work and sacrifice. See, I told you I wasn't going anywhere...I'm still here!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Now You See It...Now You Don't...or do you?
Well, it's been a few days since I last blogged, and I'm quite certain that subconsciously I took the time to be sure that what I felt and wanted to blog about was not just a rant but based on not reaction but a response to what I consider appropriate and acceptable. But, I'll get to that in just a bit.
My heart goes out to the people in the south and southeast portion of my country. It has been, in this area, one natural disaster after another: tornadoes, hurricanes, floods...there are portions of New Orleans, Louisiana, that haven't totally recovered from Katrina and now face the prospect of being flooded from the north...unless thousands of miles of rural farmland and small town are flooded. And, that is the decision that was made to save New Orleans, the capitol city of Baton Rouge, and Ol' Miss, the University of Mississippi. Sincerely, I would not have wanted to be the person making the decision...who gets to stay, who has to pack up and leave behind a lifetime of work, memories and attachments. Who said life was ever fair, no matter how much we wish it to be.
I've been watching the line-ups for the Republican bid for our 2012 election. It's interesting, yet there's still a lot of time to see how things will eventually go down. I was sad to see that Huckabee was not running, but after watching his program over the weekend, I could see that the passion necessary to run for and then run our country was just more than he was willing to give of himself and his life at this time. And, although I've never run for any office, I know what burnout is like...a path that once gone down you never fully recover from and regret the rest of your life.
I am old enough to remember the speeches given by John F Kennedy...they were moving, sincere, and straight to the point. I have listened to many speeches by many presidents,vice-presidents and lawmakers (federal and state), and even I do not remember any who has proven, time and again (to me), that he lacks the simplest of considerations as does the present president of these United States of America. His lack of tact is truly embarrassing at times, and his arrogance while taking victory laps is appalling.
Asking if the GOP wanted a moat built across the nation's southern boarder, and possibly alligators in the moats was dropping to a new low in my own personal respect that I can only describe by repeating what I heard shared about the former Madam Speaker of the House: "The gift that keeps on giving".
In my opinion, taking credit for "making the call" to advance Navy Seals on a Pakistan compound for the purpose of removing the threat of a foreign religious leader is incomprehensible. Anyone can pull a switch to throw light into a darkened room. It's the people who ran the wires from the electric source to the light bulb and secured the connections who deserve the credit, something that became almost an afterthought for this president.
I came this close to respecting him for this decision, until I saw the peacock preening his feathers in the aftermath. I asked myself: "Why now? This switch could probably have been pulled months, maybe even a year or two ago (for all we know, or ever will know), so what is so important about now"? Unless it might have something to do with polls, points and probabilities.
What those probabilities are, I'm not sure of right now. But, I do know that time will tell, and when it does, the the same nay sayers and finger pointers will clash trying outdo the other and either prove the obvious or fight even harder to cover up what could again prove to be very embarrassing for citizen, party or nation.
One thing I have learned in the past four years of my own political awakening: never take anything at face value; always watch the other hand and don't ever, ever take your hand off the shell with the pea; and, don't get too attached to one politician. He or she is just human, and sadly these days that is more an excuse than a reason. JFK had his faults, his personal life was not to be held up to children to be admired. But when he came before the country and spoke to his fellow citizens, we believed him; and, to my knowledge he never publicly embarrassed the citizens of my country as much as I've been embarrassed as an adult in the past two years.
I'm not naive, I'm not necessarily gullible, I would just like to know that the people who represent me and the citizens of my country will try their hardest to do so with an acceptable degree of honor and good ol' simple consideration. I was that 13-year old who stayed glued to the television that life-shattering weekend in November in 1963. That will be the standard by which I will always judge the the personal character of the people who hold public office in my country.
In my lifetime I've come to the conclusion that public personalities who try too hard to wow us with their grandeur are usually are no better than the people they appear before. And, anyone who has to prove their worth by attacking others and confusing the issues are just as insecure and afraid as the most and least among us. So, I ask, why the outrageous facade? Why can't someone just be himself? Oh yes, he just decided not to run for office because his heart wasn't in it because he is a man of soul!
My heart goes out to the people in the south and southeast portion of my country. It has been, in this area, one natural disaster after another: tornadoes, hurricanes, floods...there are portions of New Orleans, Louisiana, that haven't totally recovered from Katrina and now face the prospect of being flooded from the north...unless thousands of miles of rural farmland and small town are flooded. And, that is the decision that was made to save New Orleans, the capitol city of Baton Rouge, and Ol' Miss, the University of Mississippi. Sincerely, I would not have wanted to be the person making the decision...who gets to stay, who has to pack up and leave behind a lifetime of work, memories and attachments. Who said life was ever fair, no matter how much we wish it to be.
I've been watching the line-ups for the Republican bid for our 2012 election. It's interesting, yet there's still a lot of time to see how things will eventually go down. I was sad to see that Huckabee was not running, but after watching his program over the weekend, I could see that the passion necessary to run for and then run our country was just more than he was willing to give of himself and his life at this time. And, although I've never run for any office, I know what burnout is like...a path that once gone down you never fully recover from and regret the rest of your life.
I am old enough to remember the speeches given by John F Kennedy...they were moving, sincere, and straight to the point. I have listened to many speeches by many presidents,vice-presidents and lawmakers (federal and state), and even I do not remember any who has proven, time and again (to me), that he lacks the simplest of considerations as does the present president of these United States of America. His lack of tact is truly embarrassing at times, and his arrogance while taking victory laps is appalling.
Asking if the GOP wanted a moat built across the nation's southern boarder, and possibly alligators in the moats was dropping to a new low in my own personal respect that I can only describe by repeating what I heard shared about the former Madam Speaker of the House: "The gift that keeps on giving".
In my opinion, taking credit for "making the call" to advance Navy Seals on a Pakistan compound for the purpose of removing the threat of a foreign religious leader is incomprehensible. Anyone can pull a switch to throw light into a darkened room. It's the people who ran the wires from the electric source to the light bulb and secured the connections who deserve the credit, something that became almost an afterthought for this president.
I came this close to respecting him for this decision, until I saw the peacock preening his feathers in the aftermath. I asked myself: "Why now? This switch could probably have been pulled months, maybe even a year or two ago (for all we know, or ever will know), so what is so important about now"? Unless it might have something to do with polls, points and probabilities.
What those probabilities are, I'm not sure of right now. But, I do know that time will tell, and when it does, the the same nay sayers and finger pointers will clash trying outdo the other and either prove the obvious or fight even harder to cover up what could again prove to be very embarrassing for citizen, party or nation.
One thing I have learned in the past four years of my own political awakening: never take anything at face value; always watch the other hand and don't ever, ever take your hand off the shell with the pea; and, don't get too attached to one politician. He or she is just human, and sadly these days that is more an excuse than a reason. JFK had his faults, his personal life was not to be held up to children to be admired. But when he came before the country and spoke to his fellow citizens, we believed him; and, to my knowledge he never publicly embarrassed the citizens of my country as much as I've been embarrassed as an adult in the past two years.
I'm not naive, I'm not necessarily gullible, I would just like to know that the people who represent me and the citizens of my country will try their hardest to do so with an acceptable degree of honor and good ol' simple consideration. I was that 13-year old who stayed glued to the television that life-shattering weekend in November in 1963. That will be the standard by which I will always judge the the personal character of the people who hold public office in my country.
In my lifetime I've come to the conclusion that public personalities who try too hard to wow us with their grandeur are usually are no better than the people they appear before. And, anyone who has to prove their worth by attacking others and confusing the issues are just as insecure and afraid as the most and least among us. So, I ask, why the outrageous facade? Why can't someone just be himself? Oh yes, he just decided not to run for office because his heart wasn't in it because he is a man of soul!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Where Does It End?
When my children were young I found one of the most difficult aspects of motherhood was consistency in setting guidelines and in resulting discipline. As the mother of any child will attest, it's not easy to always have that "good mommy" frame of mind, at least it was not easy for me. Consequently, between my three children (and as a result of the fact of their completely different personalities), my own method of mommyhood changed drastically from child to child, as my own personal maturity and the circumstances of our family life changed. How easy it was to look back in later years and criticize myself for all the things I did not do "right" and all the things I did that were not representative of the ideal mother. Until, that was, I found out that "she" did not exist.
My own adventure into the characteristics of my own motherhood found some real meaning when I was asked by a very wise soul: "If you could have done things better, wouldn't you have done so?". Another way to ask was whether or not I would have done something different if I had been aware of a better way of resolving a certain issue or making a decision. With these two questions in mind, I involuntarily began a mult-year look at my own life as a mother, this time not to assign guilt or blame but to be open to the times when I honestly just did the best I could with the things I had. This proved to be a very cathartic and healing journey into the past to bring about the release of unearned guilt and yes, even shame, in the present.
During this process I found greater strength and personal confidence. I talked to my adult children about the boatload of negative emotions I'd spent so much of my adult life drifting afloat in. This was another eye-opening exercise. I found that those things I'd been emotionally flagellating myself over were either far from or non-existent in the memories of my children or of very little importance in the greater tapestry of their life.
Ahhhh, but..... in asking these questions I realized I'd opened another Pandora's Box of healing. When they were able to be honest with their own memories and emotions, they shared those issues that they had carried all these years, both negative and positive, most of which I had either forgotten or remembered from a totally different memory and point of view. In any case, it became a very rewarding exercise-of-the-heart, one which I wish now that I had been aware of much earlier in my sojourn into adulthood.
However, yep here it comes, just like with children, if they are allowed to get away with something, they're going to continue, any way they can until they are absolutely convinced that this is a lost cause. And, when I was inconsistent in my own setting of the boundaries of life and not consistent with the disciplines of training up my children, their chances of taking each opportunity to a next higher level increased each time. That was until I realized that something is going terribly wrong and I had no one to blame but myself because I failed in my responsibility to guide the young lives entrusted into my care by my God, the Creator of all life.
That's why I now take my life responsibilities as a citizen of this planet more seriously. My children have turned out all right, I believe they each are on the life journey necessary to give them the life skills that they'll need in the future. I'm not as convinced that the government we have responsibility for is learning the necessary lessons to take our country, and ultimately it's citizens, in a healthy direction. As citizens, many of us have, over a period of time, abdicated our responsibility as voters and legal residents of this country called The United States of America.
And, as a petulant child expecting to get their own way, our government has taken on the challenge (for lack of a better word) of moving the boundaries of governing further and further from the original guidelines set by our Founding Fathers; like the errant child who keeps secret their questionable activities, our government, operating on the premise of doing so for our own good, has taken upon themselves to set forth their own rules for the governiing of their own actions. Executive Orders not worth the paper they're written on, hidden rules tacked on to, and assumed, previous agreements, and the ever convenient excuse aptly named "Prior Consent" serve to confuse the the issues and obliterate the fine lines between acceptable and non-acceptable.
If certain actions are acceptable (or lack objection) today, tomorrow they stand a very real chance of becoming SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) tomorrow. And, if that Prior Consent becomes law, over a period of time we then, as a nation, run the risk of falling victims to our own inconsistencies and apathy. By our silence, we have given our consent; by our apathy we have relinquished our rights to object. Like the child caught with his or her hand in the cookie jar, we are blamed for the wrongs committed because we didn't put the cookie jar on a high enough shelf. In the end, it can be accused that if we hadn't had the cookie jar with cookies on the premises, the crime wouldn't have been committed.
I had a cookie jar in my house when my children were growing up, but when I caught their hands anywhere they didn't belong, taking anything that didn't belong to them, that the child's hands were slapped and told that this was unacceptable. They were told that if they wanted something they were to ask first for permission, and that had to be the consistent pattern of responsibility in my house by me, the responsible parent.
Why isn't this the accepted SOP for governing our country?
My own adventure into the characteristics of my own motherhood found some real meaning when I was asked by a very wise soul: "If you could have done things better, wouldn't you have done so?". Another way to ask was whether or not I would have done something different if I had been aware of a better way of resolving a certain issue or making a decision. With these two questions in mind, I involuntarily began a mult-year look at my own life as a mother, this time not to assign guilt or blame but to be open to the times when I honestly just did the best I could with the things I had. This proved to be a very cathartic and healing journey into the past to bring about the release of unearned guilt and yes, even shame, in the present.
During this process I found greater strength and personal confidence. I talked to my adult children about the boatload of negative emotions I'd spent so much of my adult life drifting afloat in. This was another eye-opening exercise. I found that those things I'd been emotionally flagellating myself over were either far from or non-existent in the memories of my children or of very little importance in the greater tapestry of their life.
Ahhhh, but..... in asking these questions I realized I'd opened another Pandora's Box of healing. When they were able to be honest with their own memories and emotions, they shared those issues that they had carried all these years, both negative and positive, most of which I had either forgotten or remembered from a totally different memory and point of view. In any case, it became a very rewarding exercise-of-the-heart, one which I wish now that I had been aware of much earlier in my sojourn into adulthood.
However, yep here it comes, just like with children, if they are allowed to get away with something, they're going to continue, any way they can until they are absolutely convinced that this is a lost cause. And, when I was inconsistent in my own setting of the boundaries of life and not consistent with the disciplines of training up my children, their chances of taking each opportunity to a next higher level increased each time. That was until I realized that something is going terribly wrong and I had no one to blame but myself because I failed in my responsibility to guide the young lives entrusted into my care by my God, the Creator of all life.
That's why I now take my life responsibilities as a citizen of this planet more seriously. My children have turned out all right, I believe they each are on the life journey necessary to give them the life skills that they'll need in the future. I'm not as convinced that the government we have responsibility for is learning the necessary lessons to take our country, and ultimately it's citizens, in a healthy direction. As citizens, many of us have, over a period of time, abdicated our responsibility as voters and legal residents of this country called The United States of America.
And, as a petulant child expecting to get their own way, our government has taken on the challenge (for lack of a better word) of moving the boundaries of governing further and further from the original guidelines set by our Founding Fathers; like the errant child who keeps secret their questionable activities, our government, operating on the premise of doing so for our own good, has taken upon themselves to set forth their own rules for the governiing of their own actions. Executive Orders not worth the paper they're written on, hidden rules tacked on to, and assumed, previous agreements, and the ever convenient excuse aptly named "Prior Consent" serve to confuse the the issues and obliterate the fine lines between acceptable and non-acceptable.
If certain actions are acceptable (or lack objection) today, tomorrow they stand a very real chance of becoming SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) tomorrow. And, if that Prior Consent becomes law, over a period of time we then, as a nation, run the risk of falling victims to our own inconsistencies and apathy. By our silence, we have given our consent; by our apathy we have relinquished our rights to object. Like the child caught with his or her hand in the cookie jar, we are blamed for the wrongs committed because we didn't put the cookie jar on a high enough shelf. In the end, it can be accused that if we hadn't had the cookie jar with cookies on the premises, the crime wouldn't have been committed.
I had a cookie jar in my house when my children were growing up, but when I caught their hands anywhere they didn't belong, taking anything that didn't belong to them, that the child's hands were slapped and told that this was unacceptable. They were told that if they wanted something they were to ask first for permission, and that had to be the consistent pattern of responsibility in my house by me, the responsible parent.
Why isn't this the accepted SOP for governing our country?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Finding Center...Is Balance Possible?
Sometimes in life I find the need to step back, breathe deeply and try to find center again. While my life is not yet out of balance, it certainly isn't boring and each day serves up a tasty variety of joy and not-so-joyful. This morning I watched my son wade through a labyrinth of personal challenges and I sensed his frustration; I shared joy with a new online friend over progress made in a very personal aspect of his life; I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach when I got news that the transmission in my car needed to be rebuilt or replaced; and I cringed with disgust as I watched the afternoon news and found myself not able to accept over half of what was presented and unable to trust the other half. And this was not due to any particular media spin. This was in response to the surreal events that have bombarded our network and cable news channels these past few years.
Almost three years ago I became more politically aware of the people and events in my country and around the world. It took a great deal of dedication to research issues and listen to the pros and cons of the important events here and on other countries on this planet. My awareness may not be balanced, but I know what to me is acceptable and what is not. I'm learning to trust my own instincts without the need to justify the "why" of my views. However, I also have come to accept the responsibility that comes with these views, and to me that means listening to opposing perceptions and being open to the fact that we're all entitled to have and hold our own fundamental beliefs and moral truths.
All too often these days I find myself extremely cynical of the explanations offered by the leaders of my country. Even worse, I dislike the fact that I cannot trust the attitudes and actions of most people of power. Some cynicism is healthy, it cautions us to ask questions and not be so quick to accept everything we see, hear and even feel. Anything worth acceptance deserves quality attention and a willingness to take everything into consideration and then trust our own intuition...whether it's regarding a personal decision or a political platform.
As a result of my own quality attention to the important issues in my life, I have become aware that my views are as viable as those of anyone else. One of my greatest achievements in life was not just accepting, but taking pride in the fact that my personal and moral truths are worthy. Overcoming inferiority is not easy, but once the light finally goes on, there will always be someone at home, and that someone is me. And coming back to blogging for me means that I have returned to a forum that will allow me to share my own perceptions and then learn from the responses of others, something I now know is necessary if I am to grow beyond the person I am today.
Almost three years ago I became more politically aware of the people and events in my country and around the world. It took a great deal of dedication to research issues and listen to the pros and cons of the important events here and on other countries on this planet. My awareness may not be balanced, but I know what to me is acceptable and what is not. I'm learning to trust my own instincts without the need to justify the "why" of my views. However, I also have come to accept the responsibility that comes with these views, and to me that means listening to opposing perceptions and being open to the fact that we're all entitled to have and hold our own fundamental beliefs and moral truths.
All too often these days I find myself extremely cynical of the explanations offered by the leaders of my country. Even worse, I dislike the fact that I cannot trust the attitudes and actions of most people of power. Some cynicism is healthy, it cautions us to ask questions and not be so quick to accept everything we see, hear and even feel. Anything worth acceptance deserves quality attention and a willingness to take everything into consideration and then trust our own intuition...whether it's regarding a personal decision or a political platform.
As a result of my own quality attention to the important issues in my life, I have become aware that my views are as viable as those of anyone else. One of my greatest achievements in life was not just accepting, but taking pride in the fact that my personal and moral truths are worthy. Overcoming inferiority is not easy, but once the light finally goes on, there will always be someone at home, and that someone is me. And coming back to blogging for me means that I have returned to a forum that will allow me to share my own perceptions and then learn from the responses of others, something I now know is necessary if I am to grow beyond the person I am today.
Monday, May 2, 2011
My Response To An Assassination
Another early morning wake-up found me at my computer with my English muffins and orange juice and the AOL home page announcing the assassination of Usama (I always thought it was Osama) Bin Laden. My first reaction was that it might possibly be a trick, for whatever reason I'm not sure. But, I must admit, at first I questioned the veracity of the report I was reading.
After journaling my dream, I went back to the AOL page and then clicked on my "Fox News Channel" icon and then I turned my TV on to watch "Fox and Friends". As the morning wore on, the reports came in of computer face recognition, finger print, and finally DNA confirmation, so I figured my cynical mind would drop the big question mark rolling around in my consciousness. However, this did not happen, even as I watched and paid attention to later reports from different sources.Still, the questions persisted?
I went back to that day over 10 years ago when I first learned of the attack on the Twin Towers of NYC. My husband and I had to take a lay-over in Waterloo, IA, because our regular pick-up was not ready, so we checked back into the Inn that we had spent the previous night in. That Tuesday morning of 9/11/01 I turned the TV off before leaving our room, just as "Regis and Kelly" were coming on. We had breakfast at the restaurant next door where we decided to go to one of the larger lumber/home improvement superstores see what kind of shelving we could find to hold the refrigerator, microwave and TV in the sleeper area of our big-rig.
My husband had to go out to measure the closet opening, and while I waited for him, our daughter called to tell us of the attacks on the Twin Towers and it registered but I guess without actually seeing it on TV or having conversations about it, a real connection and acceptance of what happened and the initial emotional impact didn't really sink in. We purchased our shelving, installed it and then went to wait on our load. Once back on the road then we were were once again back our regular, weekly schedule of driving, pick-ups and deliveries. That following Saturday as I rested in our hotel room in our hometown, I was able to watch the cable news channel and there I saw repeat telecasts of the 9/11 events and the amazing clean-up carried out by citizens and volunteers. But still, because my work week and resulting isolation began again on Sunday, the intense feeling of patriotism, loss and resulting anger escaped me.
So, maybe that is why instead of feeling closure or a reason to rejoice when I heard that "We Got Him", I was left this morning with questions. And, when I discussed the issue with my son this afternoon, our reaction was much the same: Why was this decision by our president made at this particular time? Was there some hidden agenda behind his call to take action at a time? These questions are not accusations, they are not criticisms nor are they judgements.Just questions that came into my own mind and quite possibly the wondering consciousness of other citizens of this country.
However, these questions in no way diminish valiant actions and success of our military, the Navy Seals and all necessary agencies that worked in concert to bring about the goal which had been set almost ten years prior. Regardless of when the knowledge was gained, the follow through and success, in and of itself, was nothing short of heroic and the end result of military training that is second to none on this planet. What was needed, was done. End of story.
Or is it? I saw and heard the collective expressions of joy and relief on the faces of those who gathered in Times Square and outside of the White House yesterday evening to celebrate justice served after years of pain and uncertainty. I'm quite sure that someone had been trained to take the fallen religious leader's place so I'm quite certain that the battle cry of the terrorists lives on, quite possibly agitated and ready for retaliation.
Maybe I'm just too cynical, too reluctant to allow myself to take this as a sign of greater victories to come. I want world peace, but I also I know that it cannot fill the planet until the threat of terrorism of any kind is obliterated. Each and every person who lives and breathes on this planet deserves to live in peace and harmony with their neighbor and with the very earth that we all inhabit.
Thanks to the Internet, the boundaries of my neighborhood has expanded to include all people of all cultures, in all countries around the world. These are my brothers and sisters in spirit, and this blog was written to share with them the hope that one day soon we will live in that blessed state of global brotherhood. There will be no prejudice, no judgement, no oppression, no persecution, no killing. This is the desire of our Creator and it is the promise our future holds. Faith in that promise will bring us to that Golden Age of Peace and Harmony. Can you pick up the mantel of unconditional love and carry it proudly until that time?
After journaling my dream, I went back to the AOL page and then clicked on my "Fox News Channel" icon and then I turned my TV on to watch "Fox and Friends". As the morning wore on, the reports came in of computer face recognition, finger print, and finally DNA confirmation, so I figured my cynical mind would drop the big question mark rolling around in my consciousness. However, this did not happen, even as I watched and paid attention to later reports from different sources.Still, the questions persisted?
I went back to that day over 10 years ago when I first learned of the attack on the Twin Towers of NYC. My husband and I had to take a lay-over in Waterloo, IA, because our regular pick-up was not ready, so we checked back into the Inn that we had spent the previous night in. That Tuesday morning of 9/11/01 I turned the TV off before leaving our room, just as "Regis and Kelly" were coming on. We had breakfast at the restaurant next door where we decided to go to one of the larger lumber/home improvement superstores see what kind of shelving we could find to hold the refrigerator, microwave and TV in the sleeper area of our big-rig.
My husband had to go out to measure the closet opening, and while I waited for him, our daughter called to tell us of the attacks on the Twin Towers and it registered but I guess without actually seeing it on TV or having conversations about it, a real connection and acceptance of what happened and the initial emotional impact didn't really sink in. We purchased our shelving, installed it and then went to wait on our load. Once back on the road then we were were once again back our regular, weekly schedule of driving, pick-ups and deliveries. That following Saturday as I rested in our hotel room in our hometown, I was able to watch the cable news channel and there I saw repeat telecasts of the 9/11 events and the amazing clean-up carried out by citizens and volunteers. But still, because my work week and resulting isolation began again on Sunday, the intense feeling of patriotism, loss and resulting anger escaped me.
So, maybe that is why instead of feeling closure or a reason to rejoice when I heard that "We Got Him", I was left this morning with questions. And, when I discussed the issue with my son this afternoon, our reaction was much the same: Why was this decision by our president made at this particular time? Was there some hidden agenda behind his call to take action at a time? These questions are not accusations, they are not criticisms nor are they judgements.Just questions that came into my own mind and quite possibly the wondering consciousness of other citizens of this country.
However, these questions in no way diminish valiant actions and success of our military, the Navy Seals and all necessary agencies that worked in concert to bring about the goal which had been set almost ten years prior. Regardless of when the knowledge was gained, the follow through and success, in and of itself, was nothing short of heroic and the end result of military training that is second to none on this planet. What was needed, was done. End of story.
Or is it? I saw and heard the collective expressions of joy and relief on the faces of those who gathered in Times Square and outside of the White House yesterday evening to celebrate justice served after years of pain and uncertainty. I'm quite sure that someone had been trained to take the fallen religious leader's place so I'm quite certain that the battle cry of the terrorists lives on, quite possibly agitated and ready for retaliation.
Maybe I'm just too cynical, too reluctant to allow myself to take this as a sign of greater victories to come. I want world peace, but I also I know that it cannot fill the planet until the threat of terrorism of any kind is obliterated. Each and every person who lives and breathes on this planet deserves to live in peace and harmony with their neighbor and with the very earth that we all inhabit.
Thanks to the Internet, the boundaries of my neighborhood has expanded to include all people of all cultures, in all countries around the world. These are my brothers and sisters in spirit, and this blog was written to share with them the hope that one day soon we will live in that blessed state of global brotherhood. There will be no prejudice, no judgement, no oppression, no persecution, no killing. This is the desire of our Creator and it is the promise our future holds. Faith in that promise will bring us to that Golden Age of Peace and Harmony. Can you pick up the mantel of unconditional love and carry it proudly until that time?
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